It was a perfect day, more perfect than I had hoped for. It
was the 14th of Feb, and for the first time ever in my life I received a bunch
of red roses. The submission of my doctoral thesis was due in a month's time, and
marriage was a couple of months away. So everything seemed beautiful and happy.
And just then, I found a painless solid lump in my breast. The doctor
ran some tests and it was found to be a malignant tumor. Cancer--- it was what
I was having, something which is one of the most dreadful things one can ever imagine
to happen to them.
The first few visits to the cancer
hospital were surreal. Everyone was worried and panicked but I was unresponsive.
A part of me was always denying the disease and trying to trivialize
the danger and imminent struggle. In the hospital they ran a few other
tests and discussed the treatment plan with us. With these, things around me
started to change, and it changed so fast that it
seemed difficult for me to keep pace. Being diagnosed with
cancer was only the tip of the iceberg in terms of the changes I have
encountered in the last seven months. As time passed the constant battle
with cancer became real and draining. There were many thing that underwent
transformations in the course of the treatment and recovery. Among those some
were temporary while the other were permanent. The way I look and think,
perceive and judge, identify and troubleshoot changed. Altered were
my perceptions of strength and bravery, ideology and conscience. But of
all the changes, the one which affected me the most was my changed
relationships with the people I knew, and with the ones I never had a chance to
know.
The huge burden of hospital bills was
shared by my friends, seniors, colleagues and strangers. My family and my yet
to be family stayed with me through the hurricane of cancer treatment. My
friends and my Ph.D supervisor accompanied
me in my hospital visits. They sat through my chemotherapy and surgery, kept me
company whenever I felt alone and patiently listened to my relentless complaints.
People who were away and could not come to visit me remained in touch through
chat, skype and phone. They remembered the date of my chemotherapy sessions and
kept my morale high. People kept a tab on my treatment and recovery. Friends
whom I had lost connection with long back came forward to help me. There were
calls, messages, mails from people with whom I barely had talked or knew. Some
of my long lost classmates contacted me and sent me positive energy. A very
senior colleague called me before my first chemotherapy, talked about her own
experience and gave me courage. The support I was receiving was overwhelming. My
struggle became their struggle, and their help and good wishes accelerated my
recovery.
But in this period I have lost some
people as well.
And through the funny game of
losing and gaining, my perception of relationships has altered. I
have re-assessed the relationships I have been endowed with biologically, and
the alliances I have made. My experience with cancer showed how beautiful and
strong friendship can be. How impregnable can human relationships be in the
face of the unpredictability and fragility of our lives.
This is my cancer story. It tells how my relationships
saved me from cancer. And how cancer strengthen my kinship with people.
