How cancer altered my relationships with people

It was a perfect day, more perfect than I had hoped for. It was the 14th of Feb, and for the first time ever in my life I received a bunch of red roses. The submission of my doctoral thesis was due in a month's time, and marriage was a couple of months away. So everything seemed beautiful and happy. And just then, I found a painless solid lump in my breast. The doctor ran some tests and it was found to be a malignant tumor. Cancer--- it was what I was having, something which is one of the most dreadful things one can ever imagine to happen to them.

The first few visits to the cancer hospital were surreal. Everyone was worried and panicked but I was unresponsive. A part of me was always denying the disease and trying to trivialize the danger and imminent struggle. In the hospital they ran a few other tests and discussed the treatment plan with us. With these, things around me started to change, and it changed so fast that it seemed difficult for me to keep pace. Being diagnosed with cancer was only the tip of the iceberg in terms of the changes I have encountered in the last seven months. As time passed the constant battle with cancer became real and draining. There were many thing that underwent transformations in the course of the treatment and recovery. Among those some were temporary while the other were permanent. The way I look and think, perceive and judge, identify and troubleshoot changed. Altered were my perceptions of strength and bravery, ideology and conscience. But of all the changes, the one which affected me the most was my changed relationships with the people I knew, and with the ones I never had a chance to know.  

The huge burden of hospital bills was shared by my friends, seniors, colleagues and strangers. My family and my yet to be family stayed with me through the hurricane of cancer treatment.   My friends and my Ph.D supervisor  accompanied me in my hospital visits. They sat through my chemotherapy and surgery, kept me company whenever I felt alone and patiently listened to my relentless complaints. People who were away and could not come to visit me remained in touch through chat, skype and phone. They remembered the date of my chemotherapy sessions and kept my morale high. People kept a tab on my treatment and recovery. Friends whom I had lost connection with long back came forward to help me. There were calls, messages, mails from people with whom I barely had talked or knew. Some of my long lost classmates contacted me and sent me positive energy. A very senior colleague called me before my first chemotherapy, talked about her own experience and gave me courage. The support I was receiving was overwhelming. My struggle became their struggle, and their help and good wishes accelerated my recovery.

But in this period I have lost some people as well.

And through the funny game of losing and gaining, my perception of relationships has altered. I have re-assessed the relationships I have been endowed with biologically, and the alliances I have made. My experience with cancer showed how beautiful and strong friendship can be. How impregnable can human relationships be in the face of the unpredictability and fragility of our lives.

This is my cancer story. It tells how my relationships saved me from cancer. And how cancer strengthen my kinship with people.